Snakes and butlers

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Snakes and butlers

Post by Orphius Blackhand on Tue May 23, 2017 12:35 am

*Belch*
"I say, whilst sir did eat a large meal, is it necessary to announce that to all?"
---
"No need to stick your tongue out at me, young master; I know sir has atrocious table manners.  I've been with sir since you were in swaddling...  Really now, must you eat the that? It is quite disgusting to clean up when you expel it afterwards"
*Bones cracking*
Winston sighs, knowing his charge will be at this for hours "Orphius, if you are going to take a siesta, at least do so in your bed...oh why do I bother.  I'm going to clean up the draperies."

Rolling his eyes at the ghost; the enormous serpent happily coils up, breaking the body apart with acid and brute force.  Shattered bones are so much easier to dissolve then bodies... and having a full, warm belly is always pleasant.  I can collect payment for my services tomorrow easily enough and it's delightful being paid to get takeout.

Orphius Blackhand

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Old memories, Old friends

Post by Orphius Blackhand on Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:24 pm

Blazing upon the timbers caked in tar and sand; the sun is occasionally obscured by smoke from nearby.  A party is celebrating aboard the survivor, leading atrocious singers about a tune regarding the charms of Belle Marie.  Two individuals are not indulging in the free flowing rum; one looking more a priest than a sailor, the other a scarred slab of a man with a old salt-stained leather-shagreen apron on.  The larger one claps the priestly one on the back, and with a voice hoarse from long hours over a charcoal fire, speaks just loud enough to be heard under the cacophony.

"You did it, my friend.  You turned us in to a proper crew - and led us right to the Kings' Word.  Some may call you cursed, or a devil worshiper, even a monster.  But - he raises his voice - WE FOLLOW BLACKHAND!" and the celebrants cheer, and down more of the rum.

shaking his head like something rattled loose under the impact, the priestly one responds "Ambrose, They'll follow so long as the coin and rum flow.  Regardless of Cursed, Demon, Monster, or Saint; they will follow, and I will take care of whats' mine.  Along with all who reside aboard the Lament."

'Sir!, I say, SIR! it is almost dusk!'
Glrf?
'You had several draughts of La fee verte for supper'
*Cough* "I haven't touched the stuff in over a century.  Hallucinogens don't mix well with prophecy"
Winston points at a rather androgynous green haired figure with a dancers body passed out in a inebriate stupor 'That faerie, sir.  You persuaded them to down a sizable glass of Ambershards' brew."
"...I thought we had drunk all that."
'Sir has a guest, They brought it.'
"Whe-" frigid water blasts Orphius in the face, followed by a hoarse belly laugh.  
"Fishguts?!"
A large shadowy figure, with one clawlike hand, and a slablike build shakes with barely contained laughter, a bucket dissolving in it's other hand "Fun way to to come to, Innit Cap'n?"

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Re: Snakes and butlers

Post by Orphius Blackhand on Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:12 pm

"Cap'n, where's the ship?" asks the piscine bruiser, looking about.  "Rivers enough to sail her here, and it isn't the first time she'd've weighed anchor inshore."
"Lost her during the spat a couple centuries back.  Rammed the bastard who'd been hounding us and lit off the magazine.  The guns couldn't penetrate its' hide." says Orphius; fussing with a dead chicken, twitching its innards fractionally.
"Couldn't... but ... the chase guns?" asks 'Fishguts,' looking incredulous.  "Left a dent, but the cladding was slanted to bounce heavy shot.  Rather annoying, albeit inventive.  Pardon a moment, the spleen is ruptured...  Bloody hellfire, I'm going to have to do this the hard way."  Orphius leaves the now rapidly incandescing and smoldering fowl, and approaches an old and battered sea-chest.
"Uh... cap'n?  Do I want to know..." asks the ghost, backing away from the chicken.
Rooting through the chest, until he pulls out a well worn and slightly gnawed on pegleg; Orphius replies with a bemused grin "No, you don't.  Although Gerrard should be able to show me her tomb.  Then I can get our home back where she belongs..."

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Re: Snakes and butlers

Post by Orphius Blackhand on Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:32 pm

"You know Orphius, the last time you were in this sort of situation was because our 'friends' broke something." comments a bemused looking phantom, as it slips into the vampires' body like a well worn glove, ignoring the air whistling past the body's ears and the newformed glob of blood falling nearby.

"Yeah, the earth and I have a complicated relationship." says Orphius with a sigh, mere seconds before a bone shattering and flesh splattering impact "Put me back togeth-"*SPLORCH*

As the body starts knitting together,  blood getting sucked back in to veins being entombed within not quite dead flesh; bones fusing together, the whole psuedocorpse seething with plasm.  After a short time, the vampire sits up; calling the power of its blood to heal.

"At least it wasn't my pet that squashed you this time..." laughs the creature slipping out, earning an annoyed eye-roll from the vampire "Much obliged, Gerrard.  Here's hoping I won't be dubbed Pancake... again."

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Re: Snakes and butlers

Post by Orphius Blackhand on Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:40 pm

"Well, one nice thing about this time of year is that I don't draw many looks.  Well, aside from walking in a 'creepy' graveyard.  On all hallows' eve.  At night.  Fine, fine, I'll stop being the wierdo talking to dead people."

"Sir never did explain the whole rum and tobacco thing, might I learn why sir is doing it tonight?" asks Winston, floating behind his vampiric host.

"It's an offering to the Dead.  More traditionally an offering to specific loa, but our captain likes us deadites."  pipes up a gnawed looking feminine ghost, wearing loose canvas and leather clothing and a ratty tricorn hat.
"Sharkbait... we aren't tied to any cursed book." says a similarly garbed burly ghost, with a rather extravagant beard.  Catching a glare from another phantom, he continues "Although we are stuck with a vampire, so I can't say which is worse"
Said vampire twitches, as though they just managed to suppress some gesture
Maintaining his glare, Gerrard pulls a worn pipe out of his mouth "Deadites are more akin to the  shadow-eaten. We're like normal people, just dead." Seeing 'Sharkbait's' mouth open, he interjects "No princess bride quips! you'll lose us movie night again, and the next one is about pirates!"

With a heartfelt sigh, Orphius continues leaving small packets of tobacco and pouring a small amount of rum onto seemingly random graves.  Glancing at the remaining phantom "Thanks Grimm, for keeping watch...and not nattering on like a newborn."  The ghost nods, and offers a slight salute with its blade, continuing it's vigil.

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Re: Snakes and butlers

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